Love

Jesus said to his disciples “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another (John 13:34).

            Some time ago, I asked a group of students to define the word Love. Most of them called it an emotion which made them happy. However, one of them considered Love to be a decision. When I asked him what he meant by the word he replied, “making and keeping a commitment”. Since keeping a commitment placed limits on one’s freedom to do other things which made one happy, I continued, was not Love something which reduced happiness? “Not, if what you Love is worth it”, he responded. Clearly, many people have different understandings of Love and how it is related to happiness.

            In this passage from John, Jesus teaches his disciples they must Love one another as he has loved them. By doing so, he establishes a new understanding of Love and its relationship to happiness.

            Within the Hebrew Scriptures/Old Testament, the description of God’s relationship with the Jewish people used terms associated with Human Love. God’s bond with David, and through him Israel, resembled that of a father towards his son. Hosea portrayed God’s relationship with the Jewish people, despite their infidelities, as similar to that of a faithful husband to his wife. In the Song of Songs, the description of God’s Love for Israel expressed the passion and intimacy experienced by a lover for the beloved. Yet, Biblical Authors also realized how far God’s Love exceeded that of its Human counterpart. One identifying quality of God’s Love was its sacrificial nature. As Jesus told Nicodemus earlier in John’s Gospel, Love for the world was the reason God gave his only Son. It was this sacrifice which gained Eternal Life for Humanity. He repeated this idea to his Disciples when he taught them the greatest act of Love was when someone laid down  their life for their friends. On both occasions, Jesus prepared others for the example he provided through his Death on the Cross. This action demonstrated his commitment to the good of others through the use of his freedom and sacrifice of his happiness. Perfect Love required a complete surrender of self to God for a higher purpose.  Christ then made his example the norm by which Disciples measured their own commitment to Love. By their sacrifices for God and others, they introduced a new understanding of the word “Love” to the world.

            Our Modern world tends to measure the value of Love by what it does for the individual. When Love is thought of as an emotion, its worth depends on how it makes a person feel. Yet, emotions constantly fluctuate. If the pleasant feelings disappear, does Love end? In addition, the motives behind Loving actions become tentative. When a husband does something thoughtful for his wife, does he really want to make her happy or just enjoy the benefits which come from her good mood? If this need for personal happiness is taken even further protective actions might be introduced. Love becomes a 50-50 proposition where one’s contribution is determined by what one receives in return. Pre-Nuptial Agreements prior to Marriage become a simple exit strategy when one’s expectations are not met. Catholics and other people of Faith understand the short-sightedness of this approach to Love. Genuine Love requires being other-centered. God gave up his Son solely for the Salvation of Humanity. Jesus died on the Cross in obedience to his Father’s Will and to gain Redemption for sinners. This is the foundation of the Catholic understanding of Love. It is a serious commitment which must be carefully considered before a decision is made about it. This commitment comes with a high price tag which may incur the loss of one’s life. In a world which measures value by what something does for me, it sounds like nonsense. However, for those whose standard is that of Christ, it is the way to Eternal happiness. What they Love is worth the commitment.

            Thomas Aquinas once said, “to love is to will the good of the other”. In this passage from John, Jesus gave his Disciples a new understanding of Love and its connection to happiness. His future death on the Cross would cause him much pain. Yet, this suffering would be tempered by the knowledge that through it the way to Eternal happiness would be opened for those whom he loved. For those who follow him, the happiness which comes from Love is associated with what benefits others.

May 15, 2022