Contracts

 Jesus said, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

             Most people are familiar with contracts. If you want to rent an apartment you will likely have to sign a lease. This contract will define the specific terms of your relationship. You will pay your landlord a fixed amount of money and in return you get to live in the apartment. Details about who is responsible for doing certain maintenance tasks will be spelled out. The contract will last for a certain period of time with the possibility being renewed in the future. If one party does not live up to his/her side of the deal neither will the other one. Disputes are settled by an outside body often a Court or Rental Board. Contracts are quid pro quo agreements which insure what each party will get out of it. Since contracts are so common in daily life, they frequently shape how people think about all relationships including those which involve love.

            In this passage, Jesus teaches his disciples about sacrificial love. By doing so, he presents a different way of viewing relationships which takes a covenant rather than a contract approach.

            According to the Old Testament/Hebrew Scriptures, the relationship between God and the Jewish people was in many ways not like a contract. The terms of the relationship were broad as indicated in Lev. 26:12 “I will be your God and you will be my people.” The relationship was not to be for a fixed period of time  When the Jewish people violated the terms of the relationship by worshipping other gods or disobeying the Divine Law God did not terminate it. No outside body had the authority to settle disputes between the parties. Rather than a contract, the relationship was a covenant. It was unlimited, eternal, unconditional, transcendental and based on total love. Jesus outlined how this kind of relationship is lived out by saying “love one another as I have loved you” and “No one has greater love than this to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” He was about to demonstrate this kind of love through his Passion and Death on the Cross. In this way, his disciples and all humanity would be redeemed from their sins. By sharing everything with his disciples revealed to him by the Father about this redemption Jesus removed all limits which existed in their relationship. The effects of this redemption were eternal. They were not conditional on the actions of the disciples. They went beyond the ability of humans to affect the outcome. They were done totally for the good of the other for the sake of the other. By doing so, Christ indicated to his disciples how they were to follow a covenantal rather than contractual model of love.

            Experience teaches us about the value of a contract type of relationship. We know what is expected of us and the other party. We know our interests are protected because if the other side does not fulfill their obligations we can terminate the relationship. We know if we are harmed by the actions of the other party we can seek redress and perhaps compensation through legal action. However, the most important relationships in our lives rarely correspond to this way of thinking. On their Wedding Day, no couple can know what the future holds. They can try to do everything possible to build a happy life together but such things as illness or economic setbacks could keep them from doing so. As they get older, both husband and wife will change and become different individuals from the ones they were on their Wedding Day. Tensions and disagreements will arise about important issues which will test their commitment to each other. As some married friends of mine have told me, success depends not on a fifty-fifty deal but a one hundred-one hundred commitment to make it work. Similarly, parents who welcome a new child into their family have no idea of what kind of person he or she will become. The mother and father could be good role models for their child, stress the importance of self-discipline, perseverance and hard work and raise him or her in the faith yet have their son or daughter reject everything which they believe. As their child gets older, external factors like social media could influence his or her behaviour more than the parents. Since there are few guarantees or certainties in life, no realistic contract could ever be created for either Marriage or being a parent. This means for the most significant relationships in our life, a covenantal approach is superior. Like Christ, our love should not be limited, temporary, conditional, worldly and partial. Although our secular society may scoff at such a suggestion, the evidence appears to indicate the alternative is failure, heartbreak and frustration.

            While contracts do have their place in their lives, Catholics should avoid adopting them as the model for all relationships. A covenantal approach, when looking at their most important relationships, brings us closer to Christ and ultimate happiness.

May 4, 2024